IWillTeachYouConfidence is born out of MarcusNeo.Com. I started MarcusNeo.Com, a site focused on helping Singaporean men succeed in their dating life.
I 2022 sold the website during the pandemic to BeyondAges.Com: one of the largest dating for men advice site in the United states.I had a huge international audience and the opportunity came to exit, pandemic hit and I needed some time away from business due to personal health reasons.
Today my focus has evolved.
My three focus for IWillTeachYouConfidence.Com is:
- Casual Dating
Marcus focuses primarily on using direct approach methods and online dating as a means to be successful in one’s dating life.
- Long Term Relationship Success
- Modern Masculinity
My Story, Heartbreak Days
Years ago, I went to Hong Kong with a trip with my friends. My ex girlfriend and I had an argument on text message whilst I was there. In five odd days, she and I broke up up through text. I flew off still having a girlfriend I Ioved and landed hours back home without one.
I couldn’t believe the relationship ended through text message.
I tried my best to salvage the situation but she wasn’t having any of it and refused to meet up with me. I officially had my first serious break up at 18.
I was left rock bottom for next two years, stuck in compulsory Singapore military service without a way out.
Somehow or another, I chanced upon the dating advice community and got obsessed with learning dating skills and understanding psychology.
For the typical Asian male, you’ll considered your chances with women as an area of life that is left purely to luck. However, the dating advice community empowered me to understand that by fundamental shifting your behaviour, you can shift your results in your dating life. This fuelled me on a journey.
I spent the next two years Googling tactics, downloading eBooks, flipping through one dating theory after another, trying out ‘negs’ and all sorts of pick up artist techniques. You ever saw that hand shake and spin ‘opener’? Yes, I did that as well.
For all of that… to not work for the next couple of years.
I later found out that pick up lines, techniques are superficial layers to how real emotions work underneath. It has always been about becoming more comfortable with our own sexuality with women, instead of relying on one time strategies.
Things only starting piecing together when I hired out a dating coach in Singapore and chanced upon some lift changing books. The coaching program connected me with similar individuals on the same journey and put me under immense pressure to change.
I started to express myself in a more direct, confident and authentic manner. If I really needed all those lines and trickery, I must be one hell of an unconfident individual after all right?
So gradually, I improved. One thing lead to another.
Through the years, after dating around a lot, trying to rack up as many notches as I can, I decided that as I grew older and got busy with business goals, I only wanted to women that I enjoyed being around with.
The ones I am actually excited to go out on, and not the ones you feel “meh” about.
To date women that I wanted, I needed to overhaul my life.
I needed to soak up all the wisdom I can. I paid for online programs, hired out top pick up artists, dating coaches and psychologists to finally come up with my own unique model.
Through the years, I adapted my teachings from classic pick up literature to psychologically researched strategies. I use models that draws inspiration from both aspects.
There are commonalities and overlaps between developing emotional intelligence, getting good at your own emotions and succeeding in your dating and relationships life.
I am an efficiency freak and I aim to model out not only what works, but is also sustainable in the long run.
I also do care about a lot about ethics, in spite borrowing ideas from pick up artist community.
In my guides, I reference quite a bit psychology: the study of human behaviour. I also try to back up my guides using research and real-world experience.
Ultimately, I believe successful at dating and relationships is to be treated like a sustainable habit. It doesn’t occur through a three-day self-help seminar. It has to be worked on like a habit.
Unlike all other self-help gurus and self-proclaimed ‘inner game’ gurus tell you, psychological research shows that there’s no way to rewire your anxieties than to go replace them with higher order habits.
This is where I also don’t really buy the usual rah rah self help stuff. In the self help industry it’s not uncommon to see most customers feel good momentarily and find themselves returning to their old self after two weeks.
Initially, my goals were to get into stocks, finance and be a banker or a hedge fund manager. The typical Asian route.
Hence, I signed up for an accounting and finance degree. However, I found myself hugely disinterested, wasn’t that good at it and preferred reading up on psychology and entrepreneurship.
I then started a blog documenting my dating life and process.
Then I thought, since I was interested in business, I figured why not I turn my interest into a business? Solving one business problem after another, I got my first client… a business is born!
Our Philosophy on Dating and Relationships
I figured that most of what read on mainstream media and alternative ideas from books such as ‘The Game’ isn’t effective or sustainable.
I had to figure this out the hard way.
That’s because Singapore (my home country) is after all still a traditional Asian culture. I also travelled a lot and needed a model that is grounded can work both in Asia and in Western cultures.
The common depiction of dating mastery is commonly portrayed as going for crazy hand spins in clubs. Whilst this is great for YouTube, it paints an unrealistic picture of how good dating interactions actually work. These strategies also barely work in Asia.
I also believe that you cannot completely objectify dating interactions. You can break it down to a science to a certain point, it evolves to an an art.
This is why two different people saying the exact lines can result in two completely reactions.
One good example I like to use is: think about the last time someone bragged to you and you can kind of get that feeling that he’s bragging… as opposed to genuinely sharing his experiences.
It’s not about what and how you say it, it’s about why you say it.
Secondly, I haven’t got anything against using lines and techniques as training wheels. I used to rely on them as well. They can be used as a crutch initially.
However, I believe you’ll need to learn how to use your own stories and your own personality to connect with women on the long run. On the other hand, if you’re going to treat every other girl like an object, then, needless to say, you’re not going to get far.
Thirdly, I believe that failure and rejection are also inevitable. Failure and rejection are concepts easily said but hard to grasp and even harder to practice. If anyone out there claims that he doesn’t get rejected or that you can avoid rejection, it’s really just clever marketing.
Everybody gets rejected and fail… rich, famous, smart or not.
Dating and Relationships, Based on First Principles
I’m born and raised from the heartlands in Singapore.
Since I was always curious about models, principles and systems, I grew the obsession of trying to figure out a dating model that work universally, regardless of country or culture. They needed to be applicable in both Western and Eastern cultures.
I also aim to create programs that are “over the shoulder” as much as possible. I try to demonstrate as much as possible how I would do it myself if I were in your shoes as someone trying to better their dating life in the form of real life case studies, examples and video footage.